I'm not going to blog any more, everyone.

Bye.

Life is officially over. Goodbye, world. Everything has ceased to have a point.

Yes, that's right, Bleak House is over. Why, why? Why to so many things? Why did Jarndyce have to be noble at the last minute? I can't bear it.

Yes, I loved it and now it's gone. I cried buckets and you all must comfort me, on pain of being cried on again and many, many time worse.

I am in a bad mood today.

Yesterday was so bright and full of hope. It was like the beginning of the Countdown theme tune. But today - today was like the end of the Countdown theme tune. It starts out all optimistic and wonderful...and then it fizzles out at the end into some weird off key blip.

I miss you very, very much, Hetty. It's always the worst in the last week, and particularly today, for some reason.

Even panto sucked this evening, I was not best pleased with Pete for reasons I can't be bothered to go into. And my words weren't nearly as slick as I'd have liked.

AND THAT DAMN JONATHAN IS BEING USELESS! I AM ANGRY WITH HIM! VERY, VERY ANGRY!

Damn Jonathan. Damn distance. Damn doctors. And damn BACKSTABBERS.

Am I glad that week is over.

Yes, it's finally finished, thank goodness, with all its stress and hecticness.

So, on Wednesday night when I got home from the show (more on that story later, agh) I found three letters waiting for me. One was a letter from my lovely girlfriend, which made me exceedingly happy, and I didn't do it the justice it deserved at the time by not really taking it in. This was because the two other letters were from RADA and LAMDA respectively, offering me auditions. Why is this bad? I hear you ask. Naturally, it isn't bad. I was ecstatic, until I turned the sheet over, and nearly fainted when I read the audition date on the RADA one. Wednesday 14th December, it read. Yes, that's right - next Wednesday. And me not remotely prepared. I got not a wink of sleep that night and frantically learnt all of my King Lear speech the next morning, and then went and screamed at poor Amanda and Rose for about ten minutes continuously.

Fortunately, my life is now saved - the ever lovely drama department have constructed a web of lies for me in order to get the audition put off until January, and we're currently waiting for a new date from RADA. This is good, this is very good. I don't ever want to come that close to heart failure ever again. Now it's postponed I can look on the bright side, and maybe indulge in some appallingly joyous dancing - theyactuallygavemeanaudition!!!! Now, to get the audition pieces up to RSC standard. *gulp*

Life can begin again, as that damn show is over. The phrase 'bloody thankless task' comes to mind. It really does. Not a word of thanks from Jonathan, and really, I think he could have managed it. I was surprised to be thanked by lots of the boys, actually. They were very nice, even though they hadn't really enjoyed the whole makeup - slicked down hair experience. Girls get no prizes, however. Am distinctly glad I didn't go to the after show party, although many encouraged me too. I feel such events are a feature of my reckless youth, particularly this morning, when everyone was talking about the Events of Saturday night. I'm pretty sure somebody would have tried to compromise me, which they would have certainly regretted. And I'm also sure that nobody will quite be able to look at dear Henry in the same way again - him and odd little pink knitwear Nell who everyone thought was mad for Andy - became...more than just friends, shall we say. I never thought Henry was the type. He looks like he'd just sit quietly in a corner nursing a beer. Still, glad the damn thing's over, even though I have made some new friends. I can get my social life back and stop singing the damned songs. They're just so...irritatingly catchy.

Also, the history coursework is done! Done forever, ahaha. Now, just to finish the last rewrite of the English coursework, and I shall be freeeee! Free until early January, at any rate. And that's good enough for me.

I went on my first foray into the terrible world that is Christmas shopping on Saturday. I didn't make as much progress as I'd have liked, but I got a couple of good things. Am starting to panic slightly about what to get my mum, however. Possibly a trip into Acessorize with a large amount of money I never want to see again is in order. I may have to wrap everyone's presents in silver foil if I don't have any money left for nice wrapping-y stuff. Sorry, you lot. It'll be...very nice, upmarket silver foil? I'll iron it, or something. Those of you I haven't got anything for yet - damn you, you buggers. Why are you so awkward? Obviously it must be something deficient in you, and nothing to do with the fact I simply cannot think of a good gift to get you.

Tthis is all for now, as Ev has come online, and that's rare and wonderful enough to tear me away from all other lesser pursuits.

So, so tired today. I had the dress rehearsal for LSOH pretty much all day today, and I ended up (as I always do, and knew I would end up doing this time - who was I kidding?) doing a bit of a Nanny Ogg and doing a bit of everything. I'm now an official makeup girl and well as Costume Lady, and the actual make-up girl is abandoning me two nights a week to do all the effect make-up by myself, eeee. My dad's coming to watch it tomorrow, so I hope he likes it. It looks good, and I did get to watch most of it today, which was nice. Andy as the dentist gives a Very inspired performance, i never would have believed he could do such a good Elvis voice. And Micky was very good as Seymour, although all the main parts were fighting against the band today - the mics are way too quiet, and I heard Little-Mr-I-Like-To-Poke-My-Nose-In-Alex telling Jonathan his long and considered opinions on the sound. Really, Jonathan doesn't need any more pressure. The poor man will actually snap. I need him to calm down long enough to write me a reference for Italia Conti, at least.

I must must must find time to do my History coursework tonight, but I'm sorry to say it isn't ahigh priority. I have a panto rehearsal, and then I really ahve to look over my lines for C.C.C, which is on Wednesday, agh! And my wayward father is showing his face to it, amusingly enough. He's practically being a model father, coming to all my shows. Very model, considering my role in LSOH is strictly backstage, and C.C.C isn't really even a show.

But now I have to eat, I'm actually starving. Probably good for me, but I haven't had a moment to eat today. Damn LSOH. Damn taking over every evening this week!

Oh, Imhotep, Imhotep. How could I forget you? My love for you was born a long, long time ago, on that fateful day I first saw The Mummy. Yet it lay dormant for so long. Now, I must explode in glorious fountains of ressurected corpse love. It comes of seeing Voldie, I think. You two have certain similarities. Saw it again yesterday, and it just gets better, seeing him. It's a truly wonderful portrayal. It exceeded all my expectations. He's so...suave. But ahem! I'm sorry, Imhotep. I was supposed to be extolling your virtues, not the lovely Voldie's.

God, am I exhausted. Why is it that everyone had to forget the 'Cheek to Cheek' dance so needed teaching it again this week? And why was I told we would be doing Act 1, when what Pete actually meant was Scene 1, and only the Chorus bits. Which don't really involve me much. So I wasn't really overly happy with that rehearsal.

Dress rehearsal for LSOH tomorrow, and then into production week, which will be annoying. Not so much tiring, because all the main costume work is done. But still, I'll be out every night, which isn't conducive to Happy Ellie.

Lots of things aren't at the moment, actually. But Bill Bailey is a GENIUS. GENIUS, I tell you:

The snowflake on the eye of the deer has turned to pus that oozes from an open wound
The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine
The duck lies shredded in a pancake
SOAKING IN THE HOI SIN OF YOUR LIES!

I gave Ev a wonderful rendition of that song the other night. And Ev laughed at my ranting. I can't help it if I sound amusing when I'm cross. It just happens.

Oh, fuck.

The forms are in envelopes and waiting to be sent away! I shall never see them more - hooray!

Today has been a bit of an odd day. There was lots of waiting and hanging about, which always annoys me. I managed to lug all the remaining costumes in, while it was raining horribly and the bag was cutting into my hand because it's always the way that the day you bring the 10 pound fur coat in is the day your mother refuses to give you a lift to the station. Such is sod's law. I think poor Jonathan is cracking. When I staggered into the studio this morning he had a very manic smile and almost collapsed on me. Poor chap, the stress is getting to him. And I've just had to text him demanding a reference, so he's got to write glowing reviews of me on top of everything else. I was rather surprised by some of the boys today - at break time Tom and Dan came over and started to warn me about Dave, in very protective older brotherly voices. It was quite sweet, they seemed all serious and concerned that Dave is going to ravish me, or something. And at lunch time Tom said significantly to Andy 'we've warned her about Dave', as if they'd been discussing the potentiality of Dave rape between the three of them. I was quite touched.

I became very annoyed with Other! Andy today. Now, Other! Andy is an offensive git, which is the main reason I like him. However, this offensive gittishness got a bit much even for me, today. Now, I am sensitive about very few issues. I hear you all cry Ha! so I'll change that to 'I am sensitive about very few issues, apart from the NHS, being called/written to by my first name, rubber snakes, poor personal hygiene, ice skating, cotton wool, and...actually, a whole host of other horrible stuff.' But one thing I am particularly sensitive about is homophobia, and stereotyping people on account of their sexuality. Now, I know that Other! Andy likes to reinforce his offensive gittishness, and it normally doesn't get on my nerves at all, but when I hear the phrase 'all lesbians are butch and ugly, and the only pretty ones you'll ever see are porn stars pretending', I see red and want to rip his little gobliny head off. The rational part of me says it's simply from ignorance he says these things, but I wasn't feeling particularly rational today, so I'm afraid I laid into him somewhat. I was fortunately backed up by Other! Alice, who is a stringent defender of ladies who like ladies. I backed off after a while and let her expostulate on how men are threatened by it for quite a long while. I think Other! Andy was a little taken aback. If I was the kind of person who talked about my personal life, I would have screamed 'I like ladies and hello? Do I look butch and ugly to you?'. Fortunately, I don't like to talk about my personal life.

(I also wish I didn't know so many people with the same damn name, so avoiding having to write 'Other!' in front of half of them. And when they triple up...well, that's too much even for me)

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully, apart from me actualyl doing some English homework. I know, I was shocked as well. It did take all of two minutes though, so I may be forgiven for it. Oh yes, and Dan stuck my sewing needle through his ear, which entertained me for a while. And then wandered round trailing the thread out of it and disgusting random people. I was disappointed that there wasn't any blood, but he did seem to be in some pain. He wouldn't let me tug it out by the thread, which I thought was very mean of him considering it was my needle.

I'm so glad this week is over. It's been too long and too full of missing you. Stupid little things like the way your neck looks in that green necklace keep coming back to me at the oddest of times.

Going to see GoF for the third time tomorrow, would you believe. However, this time I am going to see it drunk and sugar-highed, so I think the Voldie-love can only increase. And I AM GOING TO STEAL ALEX'S SHOES AHAHAHAHA!

Well, I havn't done this in a while. Hello, blog.

So I finished the NaNo, finally, after much bullying from Ev and much putting it off until the last minute.

The costumes are all sorted, hooray! I actually think it's going to be OK, and the show will go on. I saw a bit of a rehearsal the other day, and it's very...quiet, as yes. I hope to God that the principals are going to be miked, they're so quiet. Still, everyone will look great *glows with pride*.

And the English coursework is done too! And the forms are being sent off tomorrow! I love it when stuff all starts to finish all at once, and I can legitimately laze about a bit more. Although, of course, after the Christmas holidays, there is no more lazing about EVER. Panto, and then scripted, then dance (AGH). I performed my mock solo dance piece today. I wasn't entirely happy, I had to go first and I wasn't properly warmed up, and besides, some of the lovelies doing the B-Tech course decided to come and watch it, so there was added nervousness. And it was filmed - eurgh! (by the lovely Dave, who assures me the camera was focused far more on my breasts than my dancing. I'm not sure if I should be happy about this or not!) And Rose has informed us that we all have to wear leotards for the actual thing. I do not like Rose. As well as making me go first, she now wants to put me in skin-tight lycra. Oh well, I suppose I can always hope that the examiners will also be too busy focusing on my breasts to notice my dancing.